i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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