quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
