how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
