I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
