Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
