porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
