and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
