so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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