dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
its liver damage thursday
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
