Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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