Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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