you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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