They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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