We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
