Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
