she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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