So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
