I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
