SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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