Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
