I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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