do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Your dad touched me again.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
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just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
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My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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