just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
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