i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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