I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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