omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?