Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?

(1-925): View more from California

Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through

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(305): View more from Florida

Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I checked into jail on foursquare

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(607): View more from New York

Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....

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(703): View more from Virginia

i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....

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