____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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