if you like me you must not know who I am
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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