well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize