i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My vagina just clenched in fear
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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