Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
