New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
this must be what syphilis tastes like
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
