did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.