I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
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So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning