so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
