I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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