I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize