Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He better not be in your backpack
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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