I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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