You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
