He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
