I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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