I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
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I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize