So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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