I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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