The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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