How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
