i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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