We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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