Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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