If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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