Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
