I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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