Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize