i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
