After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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